I just finished helping get all 3 boys loaded for their last visit... I hope it is their last visit. First I had to chase the oldest 2 down as they ran away. Then I got hit, and kicked, and screamed at. I am the bad guy again, because I am part of making them go... Again.
What would visit supervisor do if I just walked away and let her chase them down? She's come up with a great plan. She grabs the easiest child, usually Baby, and stays in the van while I collect the others. My leg still hurts where Tyke did a backward kick as he flailed in my arms.
Will tomorrow be the end of this nightmare? Will the judge feel like he has enough to make this ruling? Will DC$ help or hurt in this hearing?
I can't keep doing this. Yeah, yeah, I know I will keep doing it no matter what, but tomorrow feels like a big domino for this case. If anyone supposedly on the side of termination argues for visitation that will hurt termination.
...And here's the part where I look way too far out. If the judge or DC$ is for continuing the visits it will be very difficult for me to believe termination will happen. If termination doesn't happen then where does that leave me? Will I just keep walking this road and hoping that maybe next time it will happen? Will I keep walking it as they push again for reunification?
Today I pray and hope. That's all I have. Tomorrow has to worry about itself.
No comments:
Post a Comment