I don't write this too complain, but rather to chronicle where I am at in life right now. There is always so much noise. I crave silence. I inundated with sound constantly. My children are loud. They are loud when they are happy, mad, sad, or curious.
I can, at times, set aside the ear jarring nature of it all and enjoy my house filled with life, but I am not exaggerating, some days my ears feel like they are buzzing. I am hiding in the bathroom right now. It is quiet in here. Malachi's squeals of laughter reach through the door barrier. Apparently Thomas is a very funny train.
My own voice is regularly worn out struggling to compete with the din. My voice crashes against my already sensitive ear drums when I call for them. Someday the silence may seem stifling, but at this point with my children the noise sometimes is stifling.
Today my sister walked inside and saw me surrounded by little people who were constantly touching and talking loudly to me. She paused to stare for a moment. "Just watching you I feel like I can't breathe." I felt better when she said it because sometimes I feel like I can't breathe and of course I blame ME and my lack of... whatever.
I think this is the stage of life we are at right now. It's not horrible, there are many blessings in it, but I am considering sending a few to school next year. I would like just a little quiet. Maybe I won't send them, but it's fun to imagine.
Disapprove if you must, but sometimes a little television turns down the volume beautifully. Well, at least it helps me get dinner on with a semblance of peace. :)
