No Contact

I made the right contacts to look in to reopening our home.   We could reopen our home because our license has not been closed for too long.  I talked to 3 different people and was told we would be contacted about relicensing.  I did all of this 2 weeks ago.

No contact from anyone.

So... I am not going to worry about it.  The whole thing is too big for me.  If God wants it to work out he will change the situation to work.

I saw a new picture of baby girl.  Her hair was adorable, her outfit a perfect little white tutu, the rooms around her were clean and picked up. The pics of Mom show similar  self care.  As of right now even I would not pull her away based on what can be seen.

I will continue to pray, but I can't guess what is best.  Only God knows.

Update on my babies?   Cy is 11 and after recovering from a compound fracture of his arm he is back in gymnastics.  He is chronically absent-minded' but super intelligent, and striving to honor God and his family.   He and Obie are pretty tight.

Olivia is doing well, but continues to need to be pulled out of the boy craziness from time to time and have Mommy - Daughter time.  I thank God my sister and her 3 girls are close.  Jazz and Olivia are 3 months apart in age so they are best frenemies!

Obie's biggest issues right now are his struggles to do EVERYTHING Cy and Liv do.  He is helpful and good natured and talented.  He can get anxiety, but we can usually talk him through it.  He successfully handled his first big kids weekend with Cy and Liv at Grandma and Grandpa's house.  Everyone said he was awesome.

Malachi is growing up a lot.  He helps do the chores and is beginning to think of others to some extent. His love for animals has helped with this.  It has taught him compassion.  He still struggles the most with resiliency and anxiety.  Example:  he just hit Zee in the face 3 times because as he said, "he was standing to close and it was scaring me."   We will be talking with his doctor about this kind of thing soon.  Everywhere we go and everything we do we have to plan, prepare, and make accomodations, for Chi.  We have gotten used to it, but I wonder if something more can be done.

Zee has spent these past few months adapting to our expectations to be a big boy and use his words, and obey.  He his a charmer as nearly all babies of the family are.  He likes to sing and dance, and loves anything to do with tractors.  He likes to push his siblings buttons and tries to take advantage of his baby status to get his way.

All in all I have a pretty terrific bunch and we are making our way through life feeling blessed beyond measure.

Sister

I sometimes search the Internet for news on the boys' bio Mom or Grandmother.  They had quite a few run-ins with the authorities and were connected to som pretty violent people.  IF anything happened to them I would want to be able to inform the boys someday...

I remembered to look again since I haven't for a long time.  I found b.m's new Facebook page.  There between sexualized selfies, pornography, and jokes about horrific violence were pictures of a 6 month old baby girl.  B.M. has had another child.

It didn't hit me at first.  Not until I followed the friend info to find bio grandma with a picture of the boys that I gave them during the case, as her profile picture.   She says she is praying them home...

It was seeing their faces in her possession in that way that had me gasping for air.  I sobbed for what was lost.  I realized the family this little baby, with a face like my sons' was growing up in.

Obie was 2 when he came.   The horrible things that had happened to him before he was even 3 years old, all came back to me.  I am just crying out to God for that little baby's protection.

I will be fine and then I will think of her and I am praying and fighting back tears.  I relook at the pictures and I see how tiny, and helpless, and trapped she is with a Mom who thus far, is still showing that she cares about all the wrong things.  I look at her and I see my boys.

I called dc$.  They did not know a baby was born.  Without some kind of report they will not look onto her welfare.

Now we are thinking about reopening our home for her.  If she should be removed...  I don't know if it would even work out.  She can't be placed with her brothers if we aren't open.  Maybe it doesn't even matter.

Tonight I can't sleep because my sons' sister is out there and she is in danger and I wish I could do something to help.  If you still read this blog at all please pray for this little girl.