More Waiting

The caseworker visited yesterday.  I like her.  She tells me all the things I want to hear about how this case should have gone.  She tells me if it had been up to her they would have terminated at 6 months.  I love to hear someone be on my side, but I do think its easy to say these things after termination is done.  God had his reasons for allowing all of it.

I find myself waiting for a phone call or text regarding V.  It feels exactly liked waiting for a call from DC$.  I want to call, but I don't want to pester.  I was never any good at this waiting part.

Another Girl?

I'd say there is a 50/50 chance we will be adding a little girl to our family very soon.  Her adoption is disrupting.  It is not her fault and it is not the fault of her adoptive parents.  She and her sisters were so hurt they have become roadblocks to one another's healing.  This family has brought V a long way, but she cannot stay.  This world is so crazy hard sometimes.  there is no room for judgement.

a while ago I felt God's tug about another.  Later I felt his tug about V specifically.  I lay in my bed and said, "But God what about Him?"  I knew Ryan would never agree.  I gave myself an out.  I told God that if He wanted this from us that he would have to have Ryan suggest it.  A couple nights ago the "impossible" happened.  I contacted V's Mom and told her where our family was at.  They are seriously considering us.  V and Liv are friends, and V would come as our "guest" while the boys adoption process finalized.  Then if all proceeds decently enough we would adopt V.  She would lose primary relationships, I can't protect her from that, but this would protectt her from some secondary losses.  We already have a heart for V.  My family has been praying for her specifically for a couple months.  None of us is taking this lightly.  This is a hard, hard thing.

Deep inside is a knowing that she (V) is not being a victim yet again.  She is still in the midst of God's story of redemption for her life.  Maybe he will use us, maybe not.  We are willing.

I apologize for the mess that you are reading through.  I am posting by cell (a messed up cell for that matter) because my computer crashed.

Freedom

I can't put it into words... The feeling is too beautiful.  Sweet relief washed over me today.  I listened to the advocate and then the caseworker.  I held each of my beautiful boys and cried.  "Thank you God! Thank you God! Thank you God!"  They were the only coherent words I could utter.


The judge's verdict was to terminate parental rights.  My boys are free.

Never again will they be tortured for another's amusement.  Free.

Never again will they be subject to the twisted ideas of morally depraved individuals.  Free.

Never again will my babies be held in the arms of someone who would mutilate and hurt them. Free.


To borrow from Dr. Martin Luther King.  "Free at last.  Free at last.  Thank God Almighty they're free at last."