Therapy Today

We had our bi-weekly therapy appointment today.  I have been attempting to communicate the degree to which Tot is negatively affected by visits, but today was helpful. 

Tyke started out talking about how he doesn't like to go to visits.  Next, Tot started rolling, jerking, kicking, and running about the room.  He was desperate for my attention and he would do something/anything to have my eyes back on him as soon as I looked away.  He made whining animal noises, he yelled, he shoved, he kicked his legs and stomped his feet.   I sat back and looked at our therapist and said, "This is the entire day after visits."  I attempted to help him as much as possible to communicate, but he wasn't having it, so I just sat back and watched the event play out after that.

The therapist stepped in.  She did butterfly touch, she encouraged him to talk, she did all kinds of therapy type things, and Tot just screamed and twisted and turned.  It was angry screaming, he refused to allow her to comfort him.  He kept looking over at me, and I just kept on doing... nothing.  Finally, he allowed her to hold him in a baby way.  She rocked him and encouraged him to be a big boy, and talk.  He still never did really talk, but he calmed down a bit and then promptly came over and crawled up on my lap.

From my perspective (and I'll admit this is a worn out Foster Momma perspective) he effectively got 100% of the attention back on himself, while Tyke and Baby took a complete backseat.  Fortunately everyone else was fine in this moment and he could have that time, but it really isn't realistic of what I can do for him everyday.

He is part of a group that will not be separated if at all possible.  It is so sad, that he did not get to be a normal, healthy, cherished baby boy, but he cannot steal the attention from others. 

After therapy he attempted the same behavior several times.  I spoke with a friend and he acted this way to get my attention, I picked up Baby to sweep some mystery item out of his mouth and Tot was there with stomping and yelling, and throwing himself down.  I actually held Tot and rocked him, but I dared to look away and he twisted and cried and moaned until I would look back at him.  Therapy Schmerapy, I'd had it!  I put that boy in time out and after figuring out I wasn't letting up until he knocked off the unhealthy behavior, Tot pulled himself together and we had a pleasant afternoon.

I did learn something about the unhealthy behavior the day after visits though...   Give them some love, but nip it in the bud.  I think my Grandma would agree with that line of thinking.