Accept and Redirect

This may surprise you, but I am not offended when people say things like, "Bless you!  I could never do what you do!," or "Those kids are so lucky to have you," or "There is a special place in heaven for you for what you do."  Misguided statements are often people's way of trying to pay me a compliment and I appreciate the gesture.  All of these comments are just a chance for me to share who Jesus is in my life.  My mother taught me it is rude not to accept a compliment gracefully, so I accept and redirect.

To the first comment I often say, "Thanks, but I can't do what we do either.  It's God doing this, not us."  I want to encourage people to step out of their comfort zone, but I am always ready to accept a Blessing from someone's mouth.  Hey! This work can be hard, and I will take all the blessings I can get. 

I know there are a lot of abandoned children out there.  Children who have aged out of the system and who are angry that no one took them in.  No one took them in because it was going to be hard.  Most people don't choose hard.  A lot of us can walk through hard if we have to, but we don't deliberately choose it for ourselves.  I want to take every chance I can to tell people, I CAN'T DO THIS, and yet somehow I just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Somehow, I am doing this thing I CAN'T do, but without my Father in Heaven I would have thrown in the towel a long time ago. I am not going to convince someone who makes that kind of comment that they are capable, but maybe, just maybe I can play a role in convincing them that God is able.

When people tell me the kids are lucky, I don't yet say, "We are the lucky ones."  I know that is what I am supposed to say, but I still live in fear of the loss, so I don't feel "in luck" yet, just in love.  I also think about all the kids out there who are still being beaten, and still being starved, and still without love and homes, and I think, Yes, they are lucky, for now anyway.  They are not lucky to have us per Se, because we are so imperfect as parents, but they are lucky to be safe and loved right now, just as Cy and Liv are lucky for the same reasons. I am still feeling this one out, but I usually answer, "Thanks, but I don't think they would agree with you on that!" 

I want all of my children to begin to understand at a very young age that they are lucky or more accurately blessed.  Everyone has something they can whine about. There is some struggle and pain that can incapacitate them to be useful for anything good, if they allow it.  I do not say this as a heartless creature, I have experienced my own share of childhood pain.  Some have experienced much more and others, much less.   If you haven't experienced potentially psyche damaging pain yet, you will.   I want all of my children to go beyond that place of self-pity.  For myself, the fastest way I have found out of self-pity,  is serving others.  I want all of my children to serve others someday.  My goals for my children are not straight A's, higher education, and fabulous careers.  I want them to serve, whether they are in pain or joy, wealth or poverty, I want them to serve others.

When I have gotten the heaven comment I answered,  "Oh thanks, but I am going to Heaven because I accepted Jesus, I can't earn my way there."  I do not ever want people confusing the fact that doing good work does not earn you a spot, but true faith in Christ naturally produces good works. 

I still believe I am squeaking my way into Heaven on Grace alone.  I accepted Christ.  I am in, but I sin every single day, and I don't deserve Heaven.  Someone who deserved Heaven would not get mad at her kids.  Someone who deserved Heaven, would not be selfish about her time.  Someone who deserved Heaven would live in a shack and give all her wealth to the poor.  I am squeaking into heaven and parenting, is more of a liability than a commendation, because parenting shows off all of our flaws.

If God were ever to allow me to adopt these boys, or any children my plan is not to shut everyone down who says something.  I will be shutting people down constantly!  I don't want to slam the doors of conversation in peoples' faces.  In college my personality profile called me a "Champion," because I am all about championing an idea.  If you are a champion, then that takes discussion. 

I want to champion people to take on something hard, because of who God is, not who they are. I want to champion people to realize how blessed they are and to get up and find a way to serve.  I want to champion people  to embrace Christ, not good works.  I cannot do that if I am unwilling to accept the compliment in the first place.  For now, this is my plan for the glory of God the Father, accept and redirect.