Well, I couldn't do it. I called the caseworker this morning and said, I will participate in intense therapy with Tyke and do everything I can do to try and keep these boys together and not force another move on them. On the way to the therapists for an in office assessment this morning Tyke kept saying, "Moooom, I love you Mom, I love you Mom." I just can't give up on him.
I told the caseworker I wanted to give the in home therapy 2 more weeks and see how things are going at that point. The caseworker was glad for my willingness to work on it and happy they would not have to transition. She later got a text from her supervisor saying the boys will in fact be moved. The caseworker is going to try and talk the supervisor out of it I think. She would rather they stay here.
My feelings are that God may be moving them in spite of my "never give up" heart. Its just how I am. I just can't give up if there is anything left to try, so maybe they will leave and maybe they won't. I don't really feel like I have a sure feeling either way. It is in the Lord's hands at this point.
Today the caseworker was here as well as two persons from the therapist's office for an in-home assessment. There were 4 adults and it was pandemonium. The boys were climbing all over the assessors invading personal space, hitting, demanding, whining, manipulating for attention, throwing fits for food, and running out the door, while the baby cried to be held. My children were nowhere to be seen. They spent time in the basement watching tv AGAIN trying to avoid all the chaos. So if my home cannot have some semblance of peace and order with 4 adults to wrangle 2 traumatized kids then maybe their leaving is for the best. Maybe there is a family out there who is perfect to care for these boys and they will know the perfect words and actions to help the boys to grow and cope. I am definitely doubting they can get that here.
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