I spoke to the caseworker today about having the boys pictured in the church directory with us. She thought that was a great idea and just told me not to use their full names and to instruct the photographer not to put our pictures up on her website. No problem! So we had our first family pictures with the boys today. For all I know it is the first and the last, but still I was happy.
Tot had a bit of a fever tonight. I wonder if he has been getting sick??? Maybe that's why he's so hard? Probably not, but he has seemed to take a lot longer to calm down today and yesterday.
In other coolness... Our DC$ has a "hand holding" service that they make available to many of the parents whose children are taken. This person's job is to help those parents meet their responsibilities. Don't have a job? The hand holder comes and helps you get applications and fill them out. Need to make sure you show up to visits? The hand holder comes and rides the city bus with you in "practice runs" to help the parent show up to visits on time. Have trouble bringing the correct things your children need to visits? The hand holder comes and helps you pack your bag properly the night before. Have trouble keeping your appointments? The hand holder comes and helps you fill in a calendar. I am sure this hand holding is/was intended to be a temporary thing. They also help with things like signing up for your free government issued cell phone, looking for appropriate housing, and acquiring financial support to meet your needs. I assume the intent was to help overwhelmed and emotional parents get on track and have a strategy for turning their lives around, but like most things with the system involved, it is not used properly.
All along they have been offering B.M. these hand holding services and she has failed to show up or even be at home for most of the meetings. The first hand holder B.M. was given quit her case. The second hand holder decided she would drive B.M. to EVERYTHING and just bill it all, she also decided she would call B.M and tell her it was time to make the proper call aheads so she could do a visit on visit days etc. Hence, the dramatic turn around in showing up for things. However, even with such intense support, B.M. has still missed drug testing dates and meetings with her caseworker.
My caseworker mentioned on the sly today that her boss said that gravy train was ending. Caseworker's boss is done spending money on this service for B.M. if it is either going to be ignored or misused. So hand holding services are officially cancelled!!!
I don't recall if I mentioned it, but B.M.'s Mom is no longer allowed to be at visits because she has been toxic to the overall mood of the visits. Prior to Bio Grandma being allowed at the visits, B.M. did very little to work her case plan. I am so, so, glad B.G. won't be there to help B.M. put on a false front. I am also thrilled the boys won't have to see her. I can't believe how much her being present has pushed Tot to a very sad and angry place. He is coming back, but it is slow.
So that's all for now. I have to go to bed people!
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