At this point the caseworker, the advocate, the visit supervisor, the caseworker's supervisor, my husband and myself all want to see termination happen in this case. Bio-Mom just does not attend anything and she is continually prompted to attend. She has failed drug screens when she shows up, she does not attend counseling, she does not attend training, she does not attend visits, she misses parent team meetings. She is getting mad now because the kids aren't home yet, but she is not doing anything.
There is a visit scheduled for Saturday and Bio-Grandma is invited as well. They both failed to call or show for the last visit. I am hoping for and expect more of the same. These little boys do not need the confusion the visits provide. So I am praying that Tyke and Tot will not have to deal with any visits.
As for my family... My husband does not think that adopting all 3 boys would be right for our family. He says he loves them and cares about them, but that he does not feel he/we are equipped to handle so many so close in age. We disagree of course, but I am trying to trust that the Lord has our future all figured out and that the Lord has placed my husband in leadership of our home for a reason.
I was very emotional about this. I did not want to post anything, because I have been fighting a big emotional fight trying to be okay and make this work for our family. I can bear their leaving if I never had the chance to have them because of a family reunification, but to have them say, "Okay, are you ready to adopt?" and then have to turn them away... I love these boys so much, but the truth of the matter is I cannot do this without my husband. Ryan is aware that when the time comes they will most likely take all of the boys rather than separate them. He still wants to see termination of parental rights happen. Neither of us can bear the thought of the boys returning to the abuses they suffered.
I think that he may change his mind. I think that he may not. If he does not I believe it will devastate me, but I cannot and will not hold that emotional gun to his head. Who knows? Maybe God will keep me in such perfect peace I won't break into a million pieces.
I am just living today and enjoying today with my precious family. God is bigger than all of this. God is bigger than all of this. God is bigger than all of this.
Amen? AMEN!
Amen! I don't know what God will do, but it will be good. I didn't know how that could be true when we had to move our twins to their grandmother's after fifteen months. The next four months were such a dark time for me. But God has graciously showed me some things to confirm that it was best, and has restored our joy with our next placement. Either way, He will give you strength and peace.
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