Cleaning or Sleeping?

I stayed up until 2am cleaning because I am insane.  I really wanted to have a clean house for Mother's Day but it wasn't in the cards.  I tried not to care.  It is amazing how ignoring an issue does nothing to make it less stressful for me.

Things have been very tough with Tot lately.  It is as if he decided we needed to go back to day one.  Well, when one of the little ones get extremely emotional it seems they all get at least a little emotional.  All I do all day is put out fires!  If I attempt to get anything done I pay for it big time.  The behaviors just spiral because I am not right there to watch things and keep them on track.

During church yesterday I heard the praise of Mothers who rise early to care for the home and family.  I am not a morning person so this is hard for me.  My sleep is just awful some nights and then morning comes way too soon.  Still, I was praying because I have been so stressed out.  "God do you want me getting up earlier?"  My children, foster and biological, seem to have radar set to sense when I begin moving in the morning.  I have gotten up over an hour before their usual time only to see them appear at the top of the stairs minutes after I leave my room.

I laid in bed last night and contemplated getting up early to have time alone to work on my house and to prepare for today.  I was wide awake and starting to worry about having the energy to get up early if I couldn't sleep.  A little voice seemed to whisper "Why not now?"

I got up. I couldn't sleep anyway.   I organized and sorted and scrubbed and tossed.  I never even got tired because I am a night owl.  I finally decided to exercise some sanity and headed to bed a little after 2am.  I heard children at 7am, and wasn't even grouchy.  I stepped out my bedroom door and  looked downstairs into the clean living spaces below. I think I heard angels singing!

Change is so hard for me.  I never stick with an exercise routine, diet, or even a Bible Study plan, but I have to change here!  I haven't been grouchy today.  There is no pressure, although my house is not perfect, it's good enough for me.  I am relaxed and enjoying the babies' company and stopping fires from even starting.  THIS is who I want to be with the kids.  The problem is I have to change me.  Its going to involve more than prayer and words of encouragement.  I am going to have to actually be out of bed when everyone else is in bed (my spoiled inner-child hates being the only one up working).

This may seem very small to you, but I would like to request prayer that the Lord will help me change to become a person who cleans before bed.  This is not because I think cleanliness is next to Godliness or anything hokey like that.  I just want to be a joyful wife and mother and for some strange reason the old ways are not working anymore.

In this ministry of foster care and adoption, I have been looking for how God would change me through this.  So far, I don't feel like I have changed very much for the good at all.  Is it possible this is part of my change?  It seems like a strange thing for God to want from me.

But then again...   King Naaman had leprosy and sent to ask the prophet Elisha what he should do to be healed.  2 Kings 5:10 records Elisha's strange response:
Elisha sent a messenger to say to him, "Go, wash yourself seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will be restored and you will be cleansed."

Naaman was upset. This seemed too simple, too weird.  It wasn't a fireworks and fanfare kind of healing.  Naaman wasn't going to do it!  His servants had to convince him.

2 Kings 5:13
Naaman's servants went to him and said, "My father, if the prophet had told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much more, then, when he tells you, 'Wash and be cleansed'!"

Naaman did as Elisha commanded and he was healed of his disease.


I have been asking, begging, and pleading for the Lord to change me.  I want a rushing of God's presence, a sweeping away of the old and an ushering in of a new me.  I am kind of like Naaman.  I want fanfare.  Instead I got a simple solution.  Clean your home at night.  Not much fanfare, but the healing I feel today is worth the little effort cleaning will take.  Naaman had to clean his body and Mandy has to clean her house.

Okay God.