Waiting For A Breeze

 I have felt the pull for quite some time that even with all the work and all the drama the Lord was not done building our family.  I believe I have mentioned that here before.  I have done nothing toward that "goal."  I don't even feel right calling it that.  It was just more like something out there waiting to be discovered.   For a long time since the idea first nudged me I was pushing it away.  There was no way I could do more.  Life is far from easy already.  There is no way Ryan could do more.  The stretching it took for God to lead us here was pretty uncomfortable at times.

Lately, I have felt the call grow stronger.  Are you willing?  I have laughingly told the Lord I am willing to do whatever he asks, I am also pretty sure that I am not able.  Of course  HE doesn't ask us if we are able, because his strength is made perfect in our weakness.


A couple of weeks ago Ryan and I attended a foster and adoption dinner and event our church was hosting. I listened to families who had been stretched and stretched again and again.  I was wondering why so many who adopt often end up doing it multiple times. There again were the faces of those who were hurting and hungry in front of me.  I thought of my home.  I thought "I have room for one more."  How can I ignore these children when I have a bed available?

I only prayed.  I need to FINISH this very big thing I am doing NOW.  I can't even begin to think of the process of a second stretching.  I didn't even have time to talk any of it over with Ryan.  One thing about driving all night long to get to your vacation is that there is plenty of opportunity to talk.  I STILL didn't bring it up.  I did not want to upset Ryan before our big family vacation. 

Then I saw his eyes get droopy.  I watched him shake his arms to stay awake, but he hates to give up the steering wheel, even to me.  I knew exactly what would wake him up.  "So Honey, what do you think about having 6 kids?"  Yep, that got his attention all right.  The shocker was for me though.  He was completely on board. 

At one point he said, "We survived growing by 3, adding only 1 more will seem like a piece of cake."  My jaw kind of dropped.   I had said the same exact thing almost verbatim to a fellow foster/adopt mom at our church just a week ago.  Throughout our vacation he referred repeatedly to parenting 6 kids.  It seems as though God has been preparing us both.

So where do we go from here?  Well, I am not sure.  We are very focused on the integrating of our family right now.  We are very focused on completing this first adoption process.  I feel kind of like a sailboat sitting in the ocean and there is no breeze.  We are happily drifting and focused on the here and now.  I am trusting that when the time is right God will supply a breeze and we will know which direction to move. For now,  we are right where God wants us and waiting for a breeze.