I am seriously falling for these 3 boys. I am not sure why, but when I look into their little faces my guts get all mushy sometimes. I don't really want to love them this much. It will break my heart if and when they leave.
I fell for Baby easily within the first week. He smiles and babbles, he is beautiful, and he is a cuddler. I am fostering, with a goal to adopt someday, so what Mama waiting for her forever children wouldn't fall for that?
The other two were harder. The behaviors were so maddening. There was so much rage and pain and it was a very effective shield between my heart and theirs. I loved them because Christ called me to, but not because I felt some magical feeling inside. Now, I am getting these flickers of magic and I love it and it hurts me at the same time. God will do what he will do, and I will accept it. He knows what's best for everybody.
THIS is why I said we would only foster children whose bio-parents' rights had been terminated. Ugh. What am I doing to myself?
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