Becoming a Foster Mom

 I realize, and I think I am accepting, that I am a Foster Mom.  I am not preparing to adopt these boys.  I am just preparing these boys for life.  I am trying to make this stage of their lives be as healthy as possible because I don't know where they will go next or what that life will be like.

I was praying on Saturday about how hard this all is and I was letting God know this is why I only wanted to take care of kids that were going to be mine.  I felt the Spirit tell me, "I am asking you to take care of kids that are mine."  Repentance was instant and my mind was altered in that moment.  God is asking me to take care of his kids right now.  There are no guarantees, there is no promised happy ending, but they are his babies and I will do my best to love them.

The boys had a visit on Saturday.  I sent them off, well covered in prayer,  and I prayed for their homecoming when I realized they would be home soon.  The boys came home, spoke calmly about the visit, and went on with life as usual.  The supervisor informed me we are up to 2 visits a week.  I had no idea, but I will just move forward with it.  I sent an email off to my caseworker just letting her know that I was told 2 visits.

This caseworker does not let me know when court is scheduled, she does not contact me to let me know the outcome of court, and she does not contact me to let me know what the case plan is for the kids (or at least let me know the things that affect me).  She had me spend $600 on clothing for the boys, telling me that it was approved.  When I went for reimbursement, she said she was still waiting for approval.  Later, she told me I was approved and would be receiving the refund.  Then another DCS person let me know I would not receive anything until I sign paperwork.  I cannot reach my caseworker to get hold of the paperwork.  Almost every time I call her voice mail box is full.  Oh, and I think I mentioned in another post how she seems sympathetic to bio-Mom which, to me, seems cruel to Tyke.  Still, she is the caseworker in charge and I must respect her role.  It's just hard sometimes, because I feel so very disrespected.


And... I took Baby to the ER last night.  His breathing was labored.  He is diagnosed with "Bronchiolitis," which I think is just a fancy way of saying his airway is inflamed.  I have to follow-up with the family doctor to try to get to the bottom of things.  I have have been having to give him breathing treatments since we left the ER last night. Poor Baby.  I'm thinking he's having seasonal allergies.  Mine have been bad and Tot and Tyke seem to be riddled runny noses and irritated coughing as well, but Baby's allergies seem to be creating an asthma-like response in him.