I reread my last post and I am so sad for the anger I see pouring off of it. This is just so hard. It is harder than I ever imagined to trust the system. In truth, I cannot trust it and I never will, but that anger and hopeless sounding words reveals a harder truth. I am having trouble trusting God in this. I am being swayed by everything that happens. I need to stand with my face to the wind and the storm beating down and I need to trust him, because He is Good.
The boys came back, and as my husband said, "It's like someone pushed a reset button." I got to see lots of behaviors I haven't seen in awhile and some brand new ones. I don't know what will happen. I don't know how this ends, but I know that I am standing in the gap. I will pray for these boys and I refuse to continue to let myself spiral into an angry person I don't recognize.
A portion of a song by Chris Tomlin keeps going through my head lately.
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power
Our God, Our God...
Into the darkness you shine
Out of the ashes we Rise
There's no One like You
None like You.
A verse that is lifting me this morning is this: Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us
On my worst days God brings me to this place, and asks me who I believe He is. I know who my God is because he has shown me repeatedly... He is Good.
[ Lyrics from: http://ww
I completely understand!!!! Love that song too!!
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