Life Right Now

Me - I'm tired and anxious about too many things. I have been having almost daily migraine headaches for the last couple weeks.  I have been really tired and grouchy lately.  I'm all out of my mood vitamin stuff.  Gotta get more of that.  So anyway, God is good, there are no visits, and termination is coming, and bills are doable.  Just maybe the winter blahs?  I just feel like I talk all day long.  I am rereading Love and Logic .  It reminds me to stop talking myself to death trying to get 5 kids to understand and cooperate. 

Actually what I should be doing is a giant praise God session.  God has done some amazing things in our life in the last TWO weeks.  I don't want to crow too loudly, but we're DEBT FREE! Well... except for the house.

Ryan is awesome.  He is a great Daddy to his kids and works hard to be a great man for me.  His heart is not anywhere near the place of bringing in another child at this point.  That's enough for me.  We do this together or not at all. 

Cy - He is mister responsible unless he's trying to be all logical in a way that will get him out of doing something.  He is the worst culprit in the talk Mom to death wars.  That 9 year old could talk his way around anything if I let him.  He's lucky he's such a wonderful, responsible kid.

Liv - She's either off the radar, because she is being so good and easily entertaining herself or she's bringing it on too strong.  She can be too screechy when she's happy or mad or sad and its like nails on chalkboard for me.  I have been making an effort to go to her and give her my focus when she's off my radar.  Lately she is really doing well at completing her schoolwork in a timely manner.  This is HUGE for me.

Tyke - When he's adopted we will call him Obee.  I think its safe to tell you that. 

He is taking cues from Cy in the talk Mom to death issue.  There are days when he just pushes everything.  Its not that he is doing wrong outright.  I give warnings and then I give consequences.  We have had a lot of days where he does things one time just to get the warning and then he stops.  In a 5 minutes span he might do 5 completely different things to sort of cross a boundary, but not totally.  At least he stops with a warning, but seriously, its one wrong thing after another.  Then he wants to talk me to death about what he did wrong.  Eventually I get so frustrated about constant warnings that I send him to his room. 

Sometimes I hear him in there talking to himself.  It's a quiet conversation, not meant for my ears... I think.  He will say, "If you wuv me, den just say you wuv me, kay?  Jus say you wuv me if you wuv me, den its okay."  I have no idea how these things fit in, but when I hear this quiet conversation, I always poke my head in and say, "I LOVE YOU TYKE!"  He always smiles and usually adds, "I come out my room, okay?"  Then I have to say its not okay because, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.  More talking... but I am not letting my little guy think I don't love him.


Tot, is learning so much right now and actually showing some understanding of boundaries.  So now he has A LOT of questions about boundaries, and life, and the ducks, and the chickens, and the dog, and where's Daddy, and when do we eat, when do we eat, when do we eat.  We have started repeating the questions back to him and having him give the answer and that is helping, but he will still ask me the same question even after he has answered it.  When one is struggling with a migraine this can be... a bit more than annoying, even though a part of me recognizes that on a better day I would probably see it as cute.

Baby, we have a fun new game we play with him.  We copy Baby.  We all sit around the table and start copying his hand motions, etc.  You should see his eye light up when he figures out what's going on.  He has everyone start hitting the table, twisting their bodies, and waving bye, bye.  We have started playing it with all the kids and it is turning into our new family game.  Its fun to see their personalities come out.  Mr. Tyke is all "Now we are eating,  Now we are sleeping, now we are brushing teeth!"  Tot, doesn't talk a lot.  He makes as many faces as Bill Cosby and we are all supposed to copy them.  Cy's choices are very complex and tricky, and Liv, makes mostly goofy sounds and does tiny motions we have to watch carefully not to miss them.

Baby is fun, and he is cranky.  He has figured out how to ask for a few things.  The one I understand the best, and that he requests the most is, "Toooookeee," which for those of you that don't speak Baby is cookie, of course.  He is attempting to throw things himself down when cookies aren't produced.  Its annoying and hilarious.  He looks up from his collapsed position seeing if he has caught our eye.  If anyone is looking (and with 6 other people available someone usually is looking), then the sobs become even louder.

So anyway, I'm tired and I get too many headaches, but really I am okay.  My babes are wonderful, exhausting, and needy, but that's life and I am glad to be their Momma.