A Saner version of Crazy.

I am just going to start posting.  I am not sure how much of this will make sense, but if I don't write, well... I won't!

I had been very sad, mad, bad, grumpy, tired, and hopeless. I have struggled off and on for the last year.  I was improving, but there was still an obvious issue.  I had been overwhelmed.  I have been praying a lot about this issue.  On a very hard day I learned about Thin Healthy Mama.  This way of eating is transforming my mood, and my waistline a bit too :)  I am so thankful for those moments when we hit bottom and the God of all creation is right there to scoop us up with actual life changing steps to take.

The kids still have behavior issues, but the sensory processing therapy has helped a lot.  Also, it doesn't get to me the way it did.  The bad news is that for the last month the boys' medical coverage has been denying coverage, for SPD therapy, but at least I know some of the tools to use. 

Chi has really struggled in church groups lately.  Something about that room sets him off.  I can't tell if the workers want me to stay or not.  We did not go to church on Wednesday night.  I just did not want to have to pull Chi back from the edge.

We are looking at adopting again.  We got the blessing from our licensing worker and from the boys' caseworker.  Even if this adoption isn't finalized yet, we are told it will not negatively impact our adoption of the boys. 

We knew a girl who needed to be adopted because her first adoption isn't working out.  We won't be getting her as her first adoptive family does not feel it would be  best for her to be placed so closely to them.  That was a little heartbreaking for me.  We know this girl, V, and we love her, but it is not to be.

However, since considering V we have become attached to the idea of growing our family again.  We are keeping our eyes open for a placement that God would have for us.  We don't necessarily want babies.  V is 7. We just want to be a home for a child who needs us because we are starting to feel again that there is someone else out there who belongs in our family.