Remembering Who We Are

I was talking with a good friend who got a way for a couple of days.  She has 6 kids and she is devoted to protecting and providing for them. Three of her kids have been adopted for just a little over a year.  As a result she rarely if ever glances up and takes a breath from meeting their needs.

I am the same way.  Babysitters happen only when absolutely necessary, and they are coached extensively.  We keep kids out of children's church because of behavior spirals.  We sit with them in Sunday School class.  We are asked to stay close to the classroom for Wednesday nights.  I deal with constantly coaching myself to parent in a way that will not create a downward spiral.  I constantly teach, nurture, correct, coach, and sustain little ones.  We participate in therapy.  Then there is laundry.  That deserves it's own section.  We are always about our childrens' needs. This is true of many mothers, not just moms in a foster or adoptive situation.  All day of nearly everyday is all about them, and that is a good thing, but... we forget who we are.  We sometimes even let their attitudes decide who we are today.

When my friend got away she said the same thing I did on my last little escape.  "I felt like I was just ME!"  There is something so rejuvenating about remembering who we are and what we love.  There is something refreshing about remembering that there is a fountain of laughter inside that wants to come out.  In the hard days of parenting we settle for finding ironic puffs of humor in the insanity, but that is not a fountain, that is a pitiful squirt. 

I am learning through this process that all of the mushy talk in the beginning, about making time for yourself in this process is actually incredibly important.  When we are constantly trying to get inside of our children's brains to help heal and grow, or just plain subvert the anarchy, we forget to remember who we are.  We have to remember that there is life after all of this crazy.

What makes me happy?  What energizes me?  Why am I just plain cute and fun?  Taking time a little time to do the things that bring me energizing joy leaves more of the best parts of me for my little ones and that can't be a bad thing.