Possibilities

I couple days ago I had inquired on a little boy I found while searching the internet.  He was free for adoption and of course he pulled at my heart.  Though, in truth, they all do.  It was so simple.  I just clicked the little "inquiry" button.  I sent the news off to some friends along with the tag, "I know it's a long shot."  Still I was pleasantly surprised yesterday when the boy's agency requested our homestudy.  I am trying not to get too excited.

I am not hopeless or angry, but some background might help.  There was a sibling group of 3.  We met them and loved them on day 1.  They were sent elsewhere.  God's will be done.  What else can I say?

Yesterday, I received an email from our adoption specialist.  It said "Someone for you to consider."  This was a different little boy.  I read through all the paperwork with its scary sounding terminology.  It is one thing to fall for a picture.  It is something else entirely to read of their painful pasts and know they will need you to help them through the dark places that has left in them.  This has been our first real glimpse at "the whole story" and although I am optimistic by nature I paused.  What are we doing!?  I shared his story with my husband and David shocked me by saying, "Tell her we are interested." Wow, God.  In that moment my fears were replaced with peace.  This man the Lord has given me, he is by nature a dragon slayer.  He is cautious and careful, but always willing to go to the uncertain place and live outside of the box. Our children our blessed to have a Daddy that understands fears and the importance of facing them.

So now there are 2 boys.  Maybe one of them is our child... maybe neither of them is.  This is too important to stomp my feet and demand my way.  These are people's lives and God bringing them home is more important than if it is my home.  So I pray for these precious boys.  That they will get to go home for Christmas. That they will be filled with the love of a family, and one day they will love the Lord their God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength.