Why I Trust Him

Matthew 7:9-11 Which of you, if his son asks for bread would give him a stone, or if he asks for a fish will give him a snake. If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Friday, April 5, 2013

Just a Sinner

Liv woke  me up very early this morning.  She had dreams about bugs biting her and giving her bumps.  I pulled her in close.  She is snoozing peacefully in my spot on the bed.  I never got back to sleep.

I am wondering if termination will be voluntary.  I have been praying a lot.

Ryan may be making some very big job changes.  He has meetings today.  I am fighting fear on that front.  This would not be a step up, but rather a step away from so much stress for him. 

I am praying and praying and then I come across these verses about repenting of our sins so God will draw close to us and hear our prayers. 

I realize that I am full of faith, but repenting is embarrassing.  I don't like to do it.  I am one of these people that thinks, "What's the point?   I'll just mess up again.  God knows I'm sorry."  I get a little too full of the idea that God knows me and he knows why I screw up.  Still, sin is sin and God's Word tells me He hates sin.  I just get so scared when I repent.  I think it can't be that easy.  I wait for the lightning bolt from the sky.

Repenting.  Its such a little thing.  Why is it so hard?  I'm just telling God I am sorry.  I am asking him to forgive me.  I am working with him to turn from my sinful habits and attitudes.  I used to repent every day for every sin I could think of.  I was a thorough little girl.  Smile.  I'm out of practice. 

I did repent and I will keep repenting. There was no lightning bolt.  I did cry, but then, I am a crier.   I am not going to let my own confrontation avoiding personality keep me from my God.    I am going to make repenting a practice again.  I would rather over-repent than ignore such a vital link in my relationship with God. 

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