Light At The End Of The Tunnel

I have been really working with Chi lately.   I am doing well myself and I can focus on his moments without feeling only like I just want to escape. 

We talk a lot about inside voices.  In all reality I think he has some problems regulating volume.  The loudness of his voice at times can be incredibly random.  He just yells about the most mundane things.  He's not mad, but his voice is at scream level.  Now, if I don't respond he will start to get angry.  So, over and over and over we talk about an inside voice.  I think he is improving a bit.  Often times I say, "Change your voice," and he gets it.

He either feels pain more than the other kids or he over does his show of pain.  My 2 year old gets a lot of boo boos so I get to deal with a lot of screaming about that.  If I respond in a firm kind of matter of fact way, he snaps out of it faster, if I hold him and comfort him he screams in my ear for 5 minutes.  I try to give him a little of both.

He also struggles with flailing or aggressive stances and actions.   He will raise his fists and then punch, or ball them up and then throw himself down, or he may bang something really hard.  He will suddenly and without provacation throw something really hard. If the item is stick like at all then without warning he will beat on people and things.  I know that boys do these things, but I have 4 of them, and Chi's behaviors are outside the norm as far as frequency goes.   I have been on him like white on rice to try and catch the moment before the outburst.  I see his face scrunch up in anger and I say firm, somewhat loud, and low, "Chi, change your face."  When he makes a fist I may say, "Open your hands, Chi."  When he raises a toy, his arm, or something to hit I say, 'Chi!  Put your arm DOWN."  

It really is working.  He stops the pre-action behavior and then we avoid problems.  At that point we can talk about whatever is going on, but nothing gets through if he has made it to a full on outburst.

Chi just needs so much supervision.  I often wonder if there is something more neurological going on with him.  He needs far more than the others to stay regulated.  It can be overwhelming with so many of them needing attention, but for now it is working out alright.  A couple times I have watched him talk himself back from a line he shouldn't cross.  That is the goal I have in mind so there may be light at the end of the tunnel for my sweet boy.