I dropped a very heavy wood highchair tray on my foot. We got to go to the ER for an x-ray. Nothing looked broken, but I have a bad sprain in my ankle and the portion that got hit feels like something sharp is poking into me every time I touch it. This is no fun, but...
A friend came by and folded laundry for me. Tot kissed my "Boo Boo" several times. Another friend came by and visited and brought me lunch and washed my dishes, and tonight I got another big surprise when ANOTHER friend brought me dinner! My handsome man has been caring for the little folk and emptying my dishwasher.
Yes, it stinks to have my foot in a splint, but I think God has been very nice to me. Just sayin!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Exceedingly, Abundantly, More
When the boys first arrived I was just a means to an end and they were terrible to one another. They either fought each other or ignored each other. I remember pulling Tot off of Tyke's head as he attempted to rake his nails across Tyke's cheeks. I remember them shoving food in their mouths as quickly as possible and reaching out and stealing their brothers' food as quickly as possible.
At the time my biggest prayer was that somehow God would help me to keep them all safe. In the first 2 months of the arrival NO ONE was safe. God is so cool! Ephesians 3:20 is at work in my life right now "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,"
I watched the boys share a single bottle of water outside this past weekend. They smiled and chatted with one another. They had no idea I was watching them. The bottle of water was passed sweetly back and forth, and the conversation they were sharing seemed much more important to them than the bottle of water they were passing.
The play therapist arrived today to similar sweetness. Yes, they argued a bit, but they played together and complimented each other and came over for snuggles with me. I wish I could take the credit, but I can't it's all God doing exceedingly, abundantly, MORE.
This morning they sat side by side and enjoyed some freezer pops together. There was no need or desire for mortal combat, they were just two buddies enjoying some Popsicles. This is how they do life now. This is not the exception, this is the rule. God is so cool!
At the time my biggest prayer was that somehow God would help me to keep them all safe. In the first 2 months of the arrival NO ONE was safe. God is so cool! Ephesians 3:20 is at work in my life right now "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,"
I watched the boys share a single bottle of water outside this past weekend. They smiled and chatted with one another. They had no idea I was watching them. The bottle of water was passed sweetly back and forth, and the conversation they were sharing seemed much more important to them than the bottle of water they were passing.
The play therapist arrived today to similar sweetness. Yes, they argued a bit, but they played together and complimented each other and came over for snuggles with me. I wish I could take the credit, but I can't it's all God doing exceedingly, abundantly, MORE.
This morning they sat side by side and enjoyed some freezer pops together. There was no need or desire for mortal combat, they were just two buddies enjoying some Popsicles. This is how they do life now. This is not the exception, this is the rule. God is so cool!
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
YES!
We have visits on Wednesday usually. I prayed asking God to stop this one if at all possible. Yesterday was such a good day (other than those pesky tantrum moments with Tot), as most Tuesdays are, and then visit day comes and dysregulated toddlers make life very hard on themselves and everyone else for the next 48 hours. I can't stop these visits I can only pray. When they happen I try to make the best of it for the boys' sake and my own.
I got the call this morning that visit was cancelled. I let God know how thankful I was. Then I got another call 15 minutes later rescheduling the visit 1 hour back so as to accommodate Bio-Mom's schedule. I was soooo frustrated! The caseworker and judge had said NOT to accommodate last minute schedule changes, but as is often the case, individual parties do what they want anyway.
I fought with myself for 10 minutes then I sent an email off to the caseworker letting her know that the visit had been rescheduled at the last minute. Here's the good part. She was upset! She called the visit supervisor and said this visit was not happening. She told her all changes must occur 24 hours out and they must go through her, not me! Then she called me and let me know the situation. Yes! Yes! Yes!
I got the chance to thank God all over again. I get some more great days with the boys without any visit residue clinging to them.
I got the call this morning that visit was cancelled. I let God know how thankful I was. Then I got another call 15 minutes later rescheduling the visit 1 hour back so as to accommodate Bio-Mom's schedule. I was soooo frustrated! The caseworker and judge had said NOT to accommodate last minute schedule changes, but as is often the case, individual parties do what they want anyway.
I fought with myself for 10 minutes then I sent an email off to the caseworker letting her know that the visit had been rescheduled at the last minute. Here's the good part. She was upset! She called the visit supervisor and said this visit was not happening. She told her all changes must occur 24 hours out and they must go through her, not me! Then she called me and let me know the situation. Yes! Yes! Yes!
I got the chance to thank God all over again. I get some more great days with the boys without any visit residue clinging to them.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Therapy Today
We had our bi-weekly therapy appointment today. I have been attempting to communicate the degree to which Tot is negatively affected by visits, but today was helpful.
Tyke started out talking about how he doesn't like to go to visits. Next, Tot started rolling, jerking, kicking, and running about the room. He was desperate for my attention and he would do something/anything to have my eyes back on him as soon as I looked away. He made whining animal noises, he yelled, he shoved, he kicked his legs and stomped his feet. I sat back and looked at our therapist and said, "This is the entire day after visits." I attempted to help him as much as possible to communicate, but he wasn't having it, so I just sat back and watched the event play out after that.
The therapist stepped in. She did butterfly touch, she encouraged him to talk, she did all kinds of therapy type things, and Tot just screamed and twisted and turned. It was angry screaming, he refused to allow her to comfort him. He kept looking over at me, and I just kept on doing... nothing. Finally, he allowed her to hold him in a baby way. She rocked him and encouraged him to be a big boy, and talk. He still never did really talk, but he calmed down a bit and then promptly came over and crawled up on my lap.
From my perspective (and I'll admit this is a worn out Foster Momma perspective) he effectively got 100% of the attention back on himself, while Tyke and Baby took a complete backseat. Fortunately everyone else was fine in this moment and he could have that time, but it really isn't realistic of what I can do for him everyday.
He is part of a group that will not be separated if at all possible. It is so sad, that he did not get to be a normal, healthy, cherished baby boy, but he cannot steal the attention from others.
After therapy he attempted the same behavior several times. I spoke with a friend and he acted this way to get my attention, I picked up Baby to sweep some mystery item out of his mouth and Tot was there with stomping and yelling, and throwing himself down. I actually held Tot and rocked him, but I dared to look away and he twisted and cried and moaned until I would look back at him. Therapy Schmerapy, I'd had it! I put that boy in time out and after figuring out I wasn't letting up until he knocked off the unhealthy behavior, Tot pulled himself together and we had a pleasant afternoon.
I did learn something about the unhealthy behavior the day after visits though... Give them some love, but nip it in the bud. I think my Grandma would agree with that line of thinking.
Tyke started out talking about how he doesn't like to go to visits. Next, Tot started rolling, jerking, kicking, and running about the room. He was desperate for my attention and he would do something/anything to have my eyes back on him as soon as I looked away. He made whining animal noises, he yelled, he shoved, he kicked his legs and stomped his feet. I sat back and looked at our therapist and said, "This is the entire day after visits." I attempted to help him as much as possible to communicate, but he wasn't having it, so I just sat back and watched the event play out after that.
The therapist stepped in. She did butterfly touch, she encouraged him to talk, she did all kinds of therapy type things, and Tot just screamed and twisted and turned. It was angry screaming, he refused to allow her to comfort him. He kept looking over at me, and I just kept on doing... nothing. Finally, he allowed her to hold him in a baby way. She rocked him and encouraged him to be a big boy, and talk. He still never did really talk, but he calmed down a bit and then promptly came over and crawled up on my lap.
From my perspective (and I'll admit this is a worn out Foster Momma perspective) he effectively got 100% of the attention back on himself, while Tyke and Baby took a complete backseat. Fortunately everyone else was fine in this moment and he could have that time, but it really isn't realistic of what I can do for him everyday.
He is part of a group that will not be separated if at all possible. It is so sad, that he did not get to be a normal, healthy, cherished baby boy, but he cannot steal the attention from others.
After therapy he attempted the same behavior several times. I spoke with a friend and he acted this way to get my attention, I picked up Baby to sweep some mystery item out of his mouth and Tot was there with stomping and yelling, and throwing himself down. I actually held Tot and rocked him, but I dared to look away and he twisted and cried and moaned until I would look back at him. Therapy Schmerapy, I'd had it! I put that boy in time out and after figuring out I wasn't letting up until he knocked off the unhealthy behavior, Tot pulled himself together and we had a pleasant afternoon.
I did learn something about the unhealthy behavior the day after visits though... Give them some love, but nip it in the bud. I think my Grandma would agree with that line of thinking.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Potty Training... Again.
Well, I am on to potty training Tot.
I got Tyke potty trained over the earlier part of the summer. Tot has used the toilet several times since his brother started going, but he says things like, "I gotta go potty," while he stands there and goes in his pants.
The excitement of losing a box of diapers a month has worn off from Tyke's training, so I suppose I guess I am looking for a "fix."
I trained Cy (When he was 2) and Tyke in 48 hrs. By training I mean, the boys knew what they were supposed to do, I do not mean that they never had another accident. How do I do this magic??? We run.
Cy's story... He was telling me had to go, but not really making many connections even though we had "show and tell" with Daddy. One day I decided it was time. I got out the big boy underwear and I told him what I wanted him to do. I put a container of candy on the bathroom counter and every time he peed in the potty he got a little candy. The next step was to wait for a missed bathroom event. He peed in the middle of the toy room floor. I said, "OH NO! We don't pee on the floor. We say, I GOTTA GO POTTY! and we run to the potty. Come on Cy let's run!" I took his hand, "We run to the potty, we run we run!" We ran back and forth from the spot saying the same things 5 times in a row. I did it like 3 times that first day, I only did it once the 2nd day, and Cy had it all figured out.
We all knew when he had to go. He'd start running like a mad man yelling, "I GOTTA GO PODDY, I GOTTA GO PODDY!"
Tyke's training was similar, and he got the idea within 48 hours.
Notice I am omitting Liv? She was a real tough one. I was lazy. I didn't want to run back and forth. I tried all the rewards and even yes... punishment. It took us months to train her. It was terrible. I should have done the running thing.
So Tot and I did our first run this morning. I love how boys don't mind running. They just kind of smile and run along. Cy actually laughed when we ran. Still they figure it out. So that's what works for my family.
I got Tyke potty trained over the earlier part of the summer. Tot has used the toilet several times since his brother started going, but he says things like, "I gotta go potty," while he stands there and goes in his pants.
The excitement of losing a box of diapers a month has worn off from Tyke's training, so I suppose I guess I am looking for a "fix."
I trained Cy (When he was 2) and Tyke in 48 hrs. By training I mean, the boys knew what they were supposed to do, I do not mean that they never had another accident. How do I do this magic??? We run.
Cy's story... He was telling me had to go, but not really making many connections even though we had "show and tell" with Daddy. One day I decided it was time. I got out the big boy underwear and I told him what I wanted him to do. I put a container of candy on the bathroom counter and every time he peed in the potty he got a little candy. The next step was to wait for a missed bathroom event. He peed in the middle of the toy room floor. I said, "OH NO! We don't pee on the floor. We say, I GOTTA GO POTTY! and we run to the potty. Come on Cy let's run!" I took his hand, "We run to the potty, we run we run!" We ran back and forth from the spot saying the same things 5 times in a row. I did it like 3 times that first day, I only did it once the 2nd day, and Cy had it all figured out.
We all knew when he had to go. He'd start running like a mad man yelling, "I GOTTA GO PODDY, I GOTTA GO PODDY!"
Tyke's training was similar, and he got the idea within 48 hours.
Notice I am omitting Liv? She was a real tough one. I was lazy. I didn't want to run back and forth. I tried all the rewards and even yes... punishment. It took us months to train her. It was terrible. I should have done the running thing.
So Tot and I did our first run this morning. I love how boys don't mind running. They just kind of smile and run along. Cy actually laughed when we ran. Still they figure it out. So that's what works for my family.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
"I'm Monna Fwy a Pwang!"
Tyke informed me he is going to fly a plane when he is "big like Daddy."
At some point he started thinking about things he will do when he is big. I love him so much.
I am so blessed because I am the Momma that got to celebrate these milestones with Tyke...
Letting me leave the room.
Trusting me for food.
Losing his fear of bedtime.
Playing on his own without me.
Showing spontaneous kindness to his brothers.
Having a dream for his future.
I pulled him on my lap today as he was talking about being a "Pi-yot" (the first time he said it I told him that he was talking about being a pilot and the boy has an amazing memory). I just marvel at all the potential that exists in this tiny boy.
I thought about where he was headed the day before he came to me. I am amazed that this is the same boy. I know the future is uncertain, but I was feeling selfish. I whispered a prayer, "God let me help him become a pilot someday."
At some point he started thinking about things he will do when he is big. I love him so much.
I am so blessed because I am the Momma that got to celebrate these milestones with Tyke...
Letting me leave the room.
Trusting me for food.
Losing his fear of bedtime.
Playing on his own without me.
Showing spontaneous kindness to his brothers.
Having a dream for his future.
I pulled him on my lap today as he was talking about being a "Pi-yot" (the first time he said it I told him that he was talking about being a pilot and the boy has an amazing memory). I just marvel at all the potential that exists in this tiny boy.
I thought about where he was headed the day before he came to me. I am amazed that this is the same boy. I know the future is uncertain, but I was feeling selfish. I whispered a prayer, "God let me help him become a pilot someday."
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Already Today
The things that have led to tears and screams already today (No, I am not the one tearing and screaming... yet).
It is not time to get up yet.
Not having milk in the cereal bowl yet.
Not having pants on yet.
Not being able to wear a winter shirt.
Me daring to use the restroom by myself.
Not being able to go outside.
Wanting a bottle NOW.
Running into the side of a doorway.
All of this before Cy and Liv were even picked up for school. I am thinking maybe the whole crying because its not time to get up yet should be the last one I hear until I get Cy and Liv off to school. Goodness!
It is not time to get up yet.
Not having milk in the cereal bowl yet.
Not having pants on yet.
Not being able to wear a winter shirt.
Me daring to use the restroom by myself.
Not being able to go outside.
Wanting a bottle NOW.
Running into the side of a doorway.
All of this before Cy and Liv were even picked up for school. I am thinking maybe the whole crying because its not time to get up yet should be the last one I hear until I get Cy and Liv off to school. Goodness!
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