Liv woke me up very early this morning. She had dreams about bugs biting her and giving her bumps. I pulled her in close. She is snoozing peacefully in my spot on the bed. I never got back to sleep.
I am wondering if termination will be voluntary. I have been praying a lot.
Ryan may be making some very big job changes. He has meetings today. I am fighting fear on that front. This would not be a step up, but rather a step away from so much stress for him.
I am praying and praying and then I come across these verses about repenting of our sins so God will draw close to us and hear our prayers.
I realize that I am full of faith, but repenting is embarrassing. I don't like to do it. I am one of these people that thinks, "What's the point? I'll just mess up again. God knows I'm sorry." I get a little too full of the idea that God knows me and he knows why I screw up. Still, sin is sin and God's Word tells me He hates sin. I just get so scared when I repent. I think it can't be that easy. I wait for the lightning bolt from the sky.
Repenting. Its such a little thing. Why is it so hard? I'm just telling God I am sorry. I am asking him to forgive me. I am working with him to turn from my sinful habits and attitudes. I used to repent every day for every sin I could think of. I was a thorough little girl. Smile. I'm out of practice.
I did repent and I will keep repenting. There was no lightning bolt. I did cry, but then, I am a crier. I am not going to let my own confrontation avoiding personality keep me from my God. I am going to make repenting a practice again. I would rather over-repent than ignore such a vital link in my relationship with God.
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